WELCOME To FINDING Relationship HARMONY Conversation

Committed relationships are complex, requiring a considerable amount of patience, kindness, humour and to top it off, a whole bag full of mind reading!

When the high of first meeting settles into a comfortable rhythm, many issues begin to arise in the way couples relate to one another. This Blog ‘Finding Relationship Harmony’ will be exploring many aspects in relationships that create tensions and misunderstanding. I do not profess to be a complete expert but I do draw upon over 20 years as a Natural Therapist / Counsellor to create a conversation of balanced perspectives, minus blame games with an invitation for others to engage on the blog so all readers might learn about some of the issues we all face in our daily experiences when juggling, family, marriage, work and unexpected life changes. This blog is backed up by ‘soon to be published’ books on sexuality, intimacy, finances and pregnancy. It is my hope that if some of the larger issues are raised and readers find solace or healing through the shared wisdom and books then this will allow your minds to settle on an Inner Path of Self Awareness and Contemplation. Fractured minds and hearts cannot easily settle, leaving any exploration of the spiritual self on the shelf. If day-to-day issues can be explored and normalised then I believe it opens up a huge door to energy, inspiration, empowerment, daring to dream and transformation through action.

As a spiritual teacher at the heart of all I do it is my wish to lift the burdens of humanity by sharing my knowledge. Please join with me on this journey.

Now available in paperback and eBook.

Buy Now! The Secrets Out! Men and Sex, Why Women Say No.

Header Photo Purchased on Canstock

The BOOK that causes people to recoil, hide their heads, peek at the cover and then open the pages. The subject matter does seem to create quite a stir but for those who have read and purchased it, their personal intimate lives are turning around for both men and women. The title is ‘The Secrets Out! Men and Sex, Why Women Say No.’ It is on Amazon as a Kindle E-book and in Paperback.

The final decision behind finally writing this book was through the insistence of my clients throughout Australia due to the sharing of my knowledge on this subject matter during personal sessions. Ultimately for me, I decided if I can normalise the common human experience and have people feel less alone through their relationships journey then this will lessen anxiety, self judgement, social comparison and allow more energy to be focussed elsewhere.

Many have discovered it is a great book to have laying around as you never know who might look inside. Within the pages is truthful content for both men and women as I share with frank honesty, intimate insight along with some humour, the secret thoughts and concerns of the two genders as have been expressed to me.

Readers are Confirming …The Book Works! 🙂 As any author, I could go on and on about my passion on this subject and the other books I have written but for now I will just leave it to your curiosity and I remain open to receiving your feelings to add more content on this matter. So far men have been very generous in asking me to add a few more topics within, so much so that I am beginning to compile another book or in the very least a blog post.

Oh and any reviews would be so gratefully received. Thanks Regards Celia

Books can be personally signed, purchased and posted through private message.

www.amazon.com/author/celiafuller

Secrets to Work and Career Success is found within the family structure behind the scenes. Emotional stressors influence how efficiently an individual can process a series of tasks or think ahead and plan, yet modern society keeps pressuring employees to work more hours or number crunch their time into pockets of unreasonable expectations. Everyday people are melting down due to  relationships turning sour, mortgage anxiety, fatigue and lack of community connectedness. Depression is accepted as the new normal because everyone feels alone and isolated. Seriously, do we really want to keep living with this insane life imbalance?

How is it that society promotes constant marketing strategies to entice struggling people to buy more, pay later and work harder for your family because if you don’t you will be considered a failure. Then companies bemoan the high rates of stress leave as the pressure builds for everyone to perform at maximum output on a constant basis never listening to the bio-rhythms of the human body and mind. Then a worsening effect is seen in the community and whole generations are damaged and affected. Today I am on my high horse feeling its time the work, life, love balance should tip the other way in favour of emotionally nourishing the home and family first. Forget the glitz and glamour of costly boats, caravan, cars and furnishings. The stress of debt to gift such luxuries creates its own stress laden issue. Discover the Joy of Living with Simplicity.

Sadly many men falsely believe woman need all those luxuries to make her happy and content. He works his butt off to provide this in the hope he will be met with a woman displaying a kinder demeanour within the home. He drives himself to do better working more to meet those perceived demands only to have it backfire on a constant basis because the harder he works the less PRESENT he is in the home, meaning he is not emotionally available to his partner or children. This becomes a recipe for disaster if the cycle continues. EMOTIONAL availability equals support. High levels of home distress leak into the working life of an individual often giving rise to reactionary behaviours, lowered confidence at work, sabotaging attitudes, boardroom egos and women unable to rise above their glass ceiling.

In order to bring a balance back into the work and home life one must begin to see the hidden influences that play havoc on our psychologies. As a society we owe it to each other to find a pathway back to living with wholeness and balance, with each supporting and loving the other. When the perfect balance is struck a vital energy of goodness pervades all decisions and interactions making a love union and children feel particularly blessed. So where do all these stresses come from? Mostly people would say finances, children and spouses, yet in my mind this can be a rather simplistic appraisal. The problems are far more deeper reaching. In fact it requires delving into the created subconscious thought patterns of people in their developmental years through family influences and that of the community. When viewing from this angle it becomes clearer as to what is motivating behaviour and stress responses.

What that Looks Like – A Lesson in Basic Psychology

The first community a person experiences is the family they grow up in. Within that framework there are numerous parental expectations, principles of conduct, traumatic events and sibling rivalry not to mention school blowouts that cause family chaos. Each micro event  of your life has the capacity to create belief systems about the world you live in. These beliefs sink into the vast memory banks of the subconscious mind ready to be played out physically again and again in order to keep you safe. What once worked effectively for a developing child does not aid the grown adult yet the childlike phobias and behaviours keep rising to the surface like a  scratched CD creating unusual choice reactions and behaviours. Loved ones always see these reactions in magnified forms and then dependant on their own conditionings will react in similar or vastly different ways. Partnership friction can be born through this process.

Secondly there are  work relationships you desperately try to understand while navigating the acquisition of  new skills trying to avoid others seeing occasional fumbling around or sense of inadequacy all the while learning how to manage your weekly budget. Work life strains add to the payload of issues arising within the psychology demanding a need to process events and evaluate where you stand within the framework. Then Love enters the game.

Love is divine and intense, full of joy, yet unsettling paranoia seems to lurk in the background of the mind, never quite sure if you are approved of or accepted at face value for Who you Truly are at a Soul level. So then in order to be more loveable and acceptable a whole garden variety of strange behaviours often ensues creating false masks of identity. In fact by the time you come of age for relationships you are already a basket full of unresolved emotional  states and have forgotten who you are or why you do the things you do. Sometimes in the midst of all that exhausting chaos you find yourself in a committed relationship.

So here you are now in a relationship juggling work and play along with mish mashing a whole host of emotional baggage together as partners, living in an emotional wilderness trying to remain in a state of internal equilibrium.  How is it possible to balance your life and remain successfully functioning human being? First you must ask yourself what your personal measure of success  looks like.  Does it involve bright shiny gems and fancy cars, while debt eats your insides or is it filled with a vibrant family life of healthy inter-relationships yet there is less financial freedom in daily living? Do you feel forced to have to work just to keep paying for a lifestyle that could end up backfiring in the divorce courts because you come home each night stressed out of your brain and uncommunicative? Or could you dare to have all the positive aspects without the debt or financial woes also enjoying laughter in a family life? I am here to tell you that it is possible to have both if that is your deepest wish. The journey is not easy but it is possible. Above all else there is a need to decide how important your relationships with a loved partner is to you and act accordingly by cherishing and making decisions that help you both find inner balance of healthy living, making sure external factors of work and career don’t collide with nurturing the commitment you have to each other. Remember it is your partner who made a life commitment to stand by your side and lift you up, not your workplace, extended family or friends. Decide where you align your loyalties.

Solutions

First it takes complete honesty as to your position in the home and expectations you place on yourself. Then there is a need to view a partner with consideration, accepting their differences by acknowledging the life events they grew up from has created a unique life perspective different from your own. In fact every person you ever meet all have a past,  a story that is unique to them and this story influences their behaviour. Sometimes when they act in a challenging manner towards you, it is not really about you at all. It is a reaction within their own head and inner child psychology. It’s their story. So you have to make a personal decision to understand why you act and react to certain stimuli that presents in your world by taking responsibility and action, allowing and encouraging your partner to do the same. This may take a variety of pathways for different people. Psychology, Counselling, Hypnotherapy, Kiniesiology, Reading self help books, Spiritual Healing and Insight or Energetic Healing can all create an atmosphere for a person to open up to hidden locked memories of the subconscious and begin decoding the messages that arise and cause reactions and behaviours that might be deemed undesirable. Some may find solace within the practise of mindfulness meditation knowing the power of a silent mind can drag up emotional memories for speedy processing and personal insight. Whichever path you take it should be considered part of an imperative health regime in order to create a wholistic lifestyle approach for greater life-love vitality.

Written by Celia Fuller – Living Musically  Finding Harmony

Nationally Known Inspirational Speaker, Author, Spiritual Teacher,  Natural Therapist and  Wholistic Lifestyle Consultant / Counsellor (  Phone & Skype Sessions)

Business of Wholistic Lifestyles, Author of an amazing Relationship Rescue Book focussing on Intimacy and Open Communication within Relationships

Title : ” The Secrets Out!Men and Sex, Why Women Say No”

Available on Amazon

Photo purchased Canstock By Halfpoint

Intimacy and The Female Body

A Message to Men

A woman’s Whole Body is a living breathing Sexual Organ. This fact should never be underestimated or understated. The surface of her skin is extremely reactive to the RIGHT style of touch. It awakens even more when treated with mindfulness and loving awe. What does that actually mean, “Touched with mindfulness”? Well, when approaching a woman you should be literally drinking in the sight and feeling of her soul essence, totally aware and acknowledging her as a living, breathing, feeling consciousness and a full blown personality, living a life along side you on the planet, not just as an object to have sexual fun with only satisfying your personal needs. Full sexual mindfulness is the way a woman prefers to love her man. Too often I hear a women’s concern of feeling like an object that is brought out to play and used to fulfil a man’s mounting desires and then seemingly discarded without thinking she may have her own sexual appetites needing fulfilment.

When you approach her intimately she awaits for the moment when hoping and praying you will finally SEE her and FEEL her life essence by the way you approach. Slowing down, lingering with touch and sensual kisses allows her inner fires to build with gentle loving desire. When you look deeply into her eyes and in your mind acknowledge the special place she has in your life, she will FEEL this transfer of communication as though two minds and hearts have entwined and merged. This is her language of love. It is this depth of connection she yearns for in the bedroom, even leading up to the bedroom. All other approaches work for a time but usually dissolve into dissatisfaction.

It is the whole body loving of lingering touch, moving through from face, neck, arms, hand, legs, feet, breasts, abdomen, face, inside thighs, face, breasts, stroking higher up the thigh, ears and neck all connected by loving strokes and kissing that will help her body begin to open up like a flower to your every move and the pelvic region will rock with gentle encouraging moans. The mindful art of incorporating her whole body are the  actions and considerations that will, light her fire.

Sexual progression will not work if you kiss, nipple twist, poke and grope in delicate places before  plunging the lever in as though you are some mechanic on steroids! You are not a mechanic, so stop it! Well some of you might be. You need to realise the vagina is like a flower, it needs to be gently awakened so it unfolds and allows a deep and satisfying end game. To awaken the vagina you must first awaken by attentiveness, ALL other body parts first! Not to be approached as some clever formula in your mind that will always work because, a man with only sexual release on his mind is transparent through the way he touches. A woman picks up the vibe and will shut down the playground.

Lovemaking really requires a man to feel vulnerable to his arising emotions and be OK with them being seen and felt by his lover. Remember she wants to see you at the depths of your core just as she is waiting for you to see her. When she feels this depth connection her availability increases with enthusiasm. In the end if a woman can experience these depths with a partner then there will be more times when she will also enjoy a quicker, hot and heavy fix. The two go together.

Allow your lives to enjoy Sexual Harmony and Create Music together. For similar topics Read  My Published book. ‘The Secrets Out! Men and Sex, Why Women Say No.’

It’ an extremely frank book written for women and men to understand each other at the intimate practical level. Sharing the stories and concerns of thousands, from over 20 years of experience as a Wholistic Counsellor and Natural Therapist.

Available on Amazon.com or Amazon.com.au

Find My Book on Amazon

Photos Purchased from Canstock by Kondrabak

Flowers, A Gift of Love or Guilt

Sometimes men overdo the gift of flowers or give them at the wrong time. Marketing and TV shows tell them that this is what women want. They are also told the gifting of flowers will gain them instant forgiveness and fix any wrongs that have occurred. They have been led to believe flowers are the winning formula for making up after ugly fights and damaging words. This, however, is not the truth. Yes, many women love flowers, as they are delicate like we are, but when they arrive constantly after a fight and there is no change in future behaviour, they lose their healing balm and only become an agitation. If flowers arrive mysteriously followed by a guilty look on a man’s face, then there will be more questions surrounding the gift. However, beautiful spontaneous flowers can really create a new connection of loving, especially if the man has added his own words in a card, revealing he has made an extra deep thinking effort—not just a grab and run fix.  I cannot stress enough how much women actually revel in the idea her man has stopped pursuing  his needs and interests long enough to take the time and purchase a card and actually write some deep feeling or even funny words in it. They will soak  up all those words you hand wrote cherishing each word, filled with the idea that she is important enough in the male mind for him to stop and take time to think about her. They do not bin the cards after reading like men do. Women are forgiving and lenient, so even a grab and run can have a positive effect.

What Flowers CAN”T do But Men CAN 

“Sadly, flowers can’t wash the dishes, vacuum the house, do the ironing or clean the oven, bathroom or toilet. They can’t make the lunches, feed the pets, make and serve dinner, replenish the beer or cup of tea, clean the sheets, chase perpetual washing all over the house, fold the clothes, pack the clothes away and do the shopping. They can’t be called on to be a taxi for all the family, speak to schoolteachers, help with homework and tutoring, give a massage, give one hour of free time for a women to emotionally prepare for sex, take a screaming baby for a walk or drive, care for ageing parents or wake up through the night soothing a stressed child.

Gifting flowers can bring a smile to the face and warmth to the heart, encouraging a woman to keep going. However with a generous, thoughtful helping hand to lighten your partner’s workload, an alternative path to better relations and less resentment might appear. This is one of the female formulas to increase potential intimacy.”  Subject matter covered in, my book  The Secrets Out! Men and Sex, Why Women Say No

Purchased via       www.amazon.com as a Kindle book ( Digital book) or Print and delivered

Kindle book are read via either a kindle reader or a Kindle reader App downloaded from amazon and can be read on Ipad, laptops and some Phones.

Photos purchased from Canstock

WELCOME To – FINDING Relationship HARMONY Conversations

Committed relationships are complex, requiring a considerable amount of patience, kindness, humour and to top it off, a whole bag full of mind reading!

When the high of first meeting settles into a comfortable rhythm, many issues begin to arise in the way couples relate to one another. This Blog ‘Finding Relationship Harmony’ will be exploring many aspects in relationships that create tensions and misunderstanding. I do not profess to be a complete expert but I do draw upon over 20 years as a Natural Therapist / Counsellor to create a conversation of balanced perspectives, minus blame games. This is an invitation for others to engage on the blog so readers might learn about some of the issues we all face in our daily experiences when juggling, family, marriage, work and unexpected life changes. This blog is backed up by ‘soon to be published’ books on sexuality, intimacy, finances and pregnancy. It is my hope that if some of the larger issues are raised and readers find solace or healing through the shared wisdom and books, then this will allow your minds to settle on an Inner Path of Self Awareness and Contemplation. Fractured minds and hearts cannot easily settle, leaving any exploration of the spiritual self on the shelf. If day-to-day issues can be explored and normalised then I believe it opens up a huge door to energy, inspiration, empowerment, daring to dream and transformation through action.

As a spiritual teacher at the heart of all I do it is my wish to lift the burdens of humanity by sharing my knowledge. Please join with me on this journey.

NOW PUBLISHED  ‘ The Secrets Out! Men and Sex, Why Women Say No.

Header Photo purchased from Canstock