family-591579_1920 copy

Secrets to Work and Career Success is found within the family structure behind the scenes. Emotional stressors influence how efficiently an individual can process a series of tasks or think ahead and plan, yet modern society keeps pressuring employees to work more hours or number crunch their time into pockets of unreasonable expectations. Everyday people are melting down due to  relationships turning sour, mortgage anxiety, fatigue and lack of community connectedness. Depression is accepted as the new normal because everyone feels alone and isolated. Seriously, do we really want to keep living with this insane life imbalance?

How is it that society promotes constant marketing strategies to entice struggling people to buy more, pay later and work harder for your family because if you don’t you will be considered a failure. Then companies bemoan the high rates of stress leave as the pressure builds for everyone to perform at maximum output on a constant basis never listening to the bio-rhythms of the human body and mind. Then a worsening effect is seen in the community and whole generations are damaged and affected. Today I am on my high horse feeling its time the work, life, love balance should tip the other way in favour of emotionally nourishing the home and family first. Forget the glitz and glamour of costly boats, caravan, cars and furnishings. The stress of debt to gift such luxuries creates its own stress laden issue. Discover the Joy of Living with Simplicity.

Sadly many men falsely believe woman need all those luxuries to make her happy and content. He works his butt off to provide this in the hope he will be met with a woman displaying a kinder demeanour within the home. He drives himself to do better working more to meet those perceived demands only to have it backfire on a constant basis because the harder he works the less PRESENT he is in the home, meaning he is not emotionally available to his partner or children. This becomes a recipe for disaster if the cycle continues. EMOTIONAL availability equals support. High levels of home distress leak into the working life of an individual often giving rise to reactionary behaviours, lowered confidence at work, sabotaging attitudes, boardroom egos and women unable to rise above their glass ceiling.

In order to bring a balance back into the work and home life one must begin to see the hidden influences that play havoc on our psychologies. As a society we owe it to each other to find a pathway back to living with wholeness and balance, with each supporting and loving the other. When the perfect balance is struck a vital energy of goodness pervades all decisions and interactions making a love union and children feel particularly blessed. So where do all these stresses come from? Mostly people would say finances, children and spouses, yet in my mind this can be a rather simplistic appraisal. The problems are far more deeper reaching. In fact it requires delving into the created subconscious thought patterns of people in their developmental years through family influences and that of the community. When viewing from this angle it becomes clearer as to what is motivating behaviour and stress responses.

What that Looks Like – A Lesson in Basic Psychology

The first community a person experiences is the family they grow up in. Within that framework there are numerous parental expectations, principles of conduct, traumatic events and sibling rivalry not to mention school blowouts that cause family chaos. Each micro event  of your life has the capacity to create belief systems about the world you live in. These beliefs sink into the vast memory banks of the subconscious mind ready to be played out physically again and again in order to keep you safe. What once worked effectively for a developing child does not aid the grown adult yet the childlike phobias and behaviours keep rising to the surface like a  scratched CD creating unusual choice reactions and behaviours. Loved ones always see these reactions in magnified forms and then dependant on their own conditionings will react in similar or vastly different ways. Partnership friction can be born through this process.

Secondly there are  work relationships you desperately try to understand while navigating the acquisition of  new skills trying to avoid others seeing occasional fumbling around or sense of inadequacy all the while learning how to manage your weekly budget. Work life strains add to the payload of issues arising within the psychology demanding a need to process events and evaluate where you stand within the framework. Then Love enters the game.

Love is divine and intense, full of joy, yet unsettling paranoia seems to lurk in the background of the mind, never quite sure if you are approved of or accepted at face value for Who you Truly are at a Soul level. So then in order to be more loveable and acceptable a whole garden variety of strange behaviours often ensues creating false masks of identity. In fact by the time you come of age for relationships you are already a basket full of unresolved emotional  states and have forgotten who you are or why you do the things you do. Sometimes in the midst of all that exhausting chaos you find yourself in a committed relationship.

So here you are now in a relationship juggling work and play along with mish mashing a whole host of emotional baggage together as partners, living in an emotional wilderness trying to remain in a state of internal equilibrium.  How is it possible to balance your life and remain successfully functioning human being? First you must ask yourself what your personal measure of success  looks like.  Does it involve bright shiny gems and fancy cars, while debt eats your insides or is it filled with a vibrant family life of healthy inter-relationships yet there is less financial freedom in daily living? Do you feel forced to have to work just to keep paying for a lifestyle that could end up backfiring in the divorce courts because you come home each night stressed out of your brain and uncommunicative? Or could you dare to have all the positive aspects without the debt or financial woes also enjoying laughter in a family life? I am here to tell you that it is possible to have both if that is your deepest wish. The journey is not easy but it is possible. Above all else there is a need to decide how important your relationships with a loved partner is to you and act accordingly by cherishing and making decisions that help you both find inner balance of healthy living, making sure external factors of work and career don’t collide with nurturing the commitment you have to each other. Remember it is your partner who made a life commitment to stand by your side and lift you up, not your workplace, extended family or friends. Decide where you align your loyalties.

Solutions

First it takes complete honesty as to your position in the home and expectations you place on yourself. Then there is a need to view a partner with consideration, accepting their differences by acknowledging the life events they grew up from has created a unique life perspective different from your own. In fact every person you ever meet all have a past,  a story that is unique to them and this story influences their behaviour. Sometimes when they act in a challenging manner towards you, it is not really about you at all. It is a reaction within their own head and inner child psychology. It’s their story. So you have to make a personal decision to understand why you act and react to certain stimuli that presents in your world by taking responsibility and action, allowing and encouraging your partner to do the same. This may take a variety of pathways for different people. Psychology, Counselling, Hypnotherapy, Kiniesiology, Reading self help books, Spiritual Healing and Insight or Energetic Healing can all create an atmosphere for a person to open up to hidden locked memories of the subconscious and begin decoding the messages that arise and cause reactions and behaviours that might be deemed undesirable. Some may find solace within the practise of mindfulness meditation knowing the power of a silent mind can drag up emotional memories for speedy processing and personal insight. Whichever path you take it should be considered part of an imperative health regime in order to create a wholistic lifestyle approach for greater life-love vitality.

Written by Celia Fuller – Living Musically  Finding Harmony

Nationally Known Inspirational Speaker, Author, Spiritual Teacher,  Natural Therapist and  Wholistic Lifestyle Consultant / Counsellor (  Phone & Skype Sessions)

Business of Wholistic Lifestyles, Author of an amazing Relationship Rescue Book focussing on Intimacy and Open Communication within Relationships

Title : ” The Secrets Out!Men and Sex, Why Women Say No”

Available on Amazon